1 Thess. 5:14 – “People Are Messy”

A sermon by Chip Zachary for Christ the Redeemer Church, 31 August 2011

This spring at a homeschool conference, I heard Scott Somerfield speak on 1 Thes 5:14.  What he said really made me start thinking about how I relate to other people—at church, in my family, with colleagues and patients, with neighbors, etc.  As I have meditated on this verse over the last few months, it’s been amazing to me how much is packed into this single verse.  Today, I hope to unpack this verse and I believe you will find how practical Paul’s advice in relating to people is.

“People are messy.  I’m a mess, you’re a mess, we’re all a mess.”  I was somewhat shocked when I heard Kevin Swanson say this at the National Conference for Family Integrated Churches in 2006.His point was that if we are really going to function as a church should and get involved in each other’s lives, we’re going to find out that we’re messy.  And we’re all messy, because we’re all sinners. It is our vision for CTR that we grow individually and as a body of believers.  To do this, we must be willing to go out of our comfort zones, beyond the superficial, “How are you doing?  Fine.”We must be willing to get “messy” with one another.  At times, we need to be shown our own messiness, and at other times we need to be willing to help another messy person.  We all experience interactions with other people; whether at home, in the church, at work, or in our neighborhoods;that seem particularly difficult.   Perhaps you have a child who is frequently disobedient, or you have a friend that is prone to fear, or a neighbor who is frequently in need of help.  How should we, as followers of Christ, respond to these unruly, fainthearted, and weakpeople?    As we examine 1 Thessalonians 5:14 today, I believe you will find a practical and godly approach to dealing with “messy” people. 

So let’s take a look at our passage.

(ESV)  And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.

I don’t know about you, but my attitude towards unruly, fainthearted, and weakpeople is often to ignore, avoid, or run away from them.  Paul would not have us do this.  In this verse, he addresses the brothers/brethren.  That includes you and me, all of us.  Observe that before Paul tells us how we are to relate to theunruly, fainthearted, and weak; he parakaleos us.  He urges us, exhorts us, invokes us, beseeches us to become involved in these “messy” people’s lives.  To be a healthy church body, we must become involved in one another’s lives.  Another way this word parakaleo may be translated is to call near.   In other words, we are to come alongside the unruly, fainthearted, and weakand help them.  Note that this word parakaleao is close to parakletos which is often translated as Comforter or Helper to describe the Holy Spirit.  We are not other peoples Holy Spirit, but just as we have been comforted and helped by the Holy Spirit, we are to comfort and help others (2 Cor 1:4).

            So let’s look at Paul’s first instruction:  we are to admonish theunruly, the unruly.  Our English versions at first glance may seem somewhat contradictory as ESV, NIV, HCSB translate this group as idle or lazy, while the KJV, NKJV, NAS translate them as unruly.  If we look at the Greek we gain further insight.  The Greek word isataktos  (at'-ak-tos) meaning:  disorderly,  unruly, out of ranks (often so of soldiers).Dr. Adam Clarke says, “The whole phraseology of this verse is military… Ατακτους· Those who are out of their ranks, and are neither in a disposition nor situation to perform the work and duty of a soldier; those who will not do the work prescribed, and who will meddle with what is not commanded.”

So one could say this type of person is out of line.  They could be out of line by lagging

behind and not doing what he is supposed to do or he could be out of line by being willfully disobedient to the orders he has been given.  You may have a child who is disorderly and willfully challenging you, you may have a spouse who is struggling with a particular sinful behavior, you may know a friend who is lazy and making excuses for not going to work.  How should we deal with these unrulypeople.  Paul tells us to admonish or warn them. 

Again looking at the original Greek gives further insight as to what this means.  Noutheteō (noo-thet-eh'-o0) means to putinmind, to caution or reprove gently, to admonish, warn (Strong). This word is also used in Romans 15:14 & Col 3:16 where we are told to teach and admonish one another.  This admonishing is expected to be a regular part of relationships in the church.  Admonishment can also come as more formal church discipline as used in 1 Thes 5:12 & 2 Thess 3:15.  However admonishment is done, whether privately or by formal church discipline, it should be done in love.  The purpose is not to shame the person (1 Cor 4:14), instead we are to treat the person as a brother, not an enemy (2 Thes 5:12). The goal is to getthe person back in to line and present every man perfect in Christ (Col 1:28).  We see Paul applying this principle of admonishing or warning the unruly and idle in 2 Thes 3:6-15:

6  Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from us. 7  For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you, 8  nor did we eat anyone's bread without paying for it, but with toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. 9  It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate. 10  For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. 11  For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. 12  Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living. 13  As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good. 14  If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person, and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed. 15  Do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.

So the instruction Paul gives to us is to warn or admonish the unruly or the idle.

      The second command Paul gives us is to encourage the fainthearted, the fainthearted.  This

second group of people aretimid, discouraged, feebleminded, fainthearted.  The Greek is

oligopsuchos (ol-ig-op'-soo-khos) literally meaning little spirited or small souled. This word is

only used  here in the Bible and may be better understood when contrasted with its opposite

megalopsuchos or large souled.  The megalopsuchos are confident, bold, fearless.  The

oligopsuchos are fearful, timid, discouraged.  We all know people like this or we are one

ourselves.  This is the type of person I am most like.  We’re afraid to try something new,

shy, always the cup half-empty type.

How does Paul instruct us to deal with thefainthearted? He says to encourage or comfort

them. The Greek isparamutheomai (par-am-oo-theh'-om-ahee)andis derived from para (near or beside) and muthos (a tale or fable).  So one way we can encourage or comfort the fainthearted is to come alongside them with a story to calm, console, or encourage them.Paul also uses this word earlier in the book of Thessalonians when he mentions that he, Silas, and Timothy encouraged and comforted the Thessalonians like a father comforts a child. (1 Thes 2:11-12) Think of a child scared during a thunderstorm.  His father comes beside him, holds him in his arms and tells him the story of how Jesus calmed the storms on the Sea of Galilee and the child is comforted.  Paul encouraged and comforted the Thessalonians in the preceding chapter of this letter.  Some of the Thessalonians were apparently worried that those who had already died would miss theresurrection. He told them that they were not without hope, and assured them that the dead would actually precede those who are alive in the resurrection. (1 Thes 4:13-18). 

So Paul’s instruction to us is to encourage and comfort the timid,  the discouraged, or the fainthearted.

The third command is to help the weak, the weak.  The, Greek asthenēs (as-then-ace') literally means without (a) strength (sthenoo) and is where we get our English word, asthenia.This Greek word is used in the New Testament speaking of a literal or physical weakness where is most often translated to English as sick, eg  Mt 25:31-46 in the parable of the sheep & goats.  In v36, 39, 43,44when the sheep visited the sick brothers, they ministered to Jesus.  When the goats did not visit the sick brothers, they did not minister to Jesus.

The wordasthenes can also have a figurative or moral application where it is most often translated to English asweak.  We see this in Mt 26:41 (Mk 14:38) where Jesus says, “ Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." And in Romans 5:6, “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.”

We encounter both types of these weak people in our families, churches, work places and

neighborhoods.  What instruction does Paul give us in dealing with the weak?  We are to help, uphold, and support them.  The Greek antechomai (an-tekh'-om-ahee)  from anti and echo literally means to  hold oneself opposite to, that is, (by implication) adhereto; or by extension to care for; to hold fast, hold to, support. (Strong).  Thayer defines as:  to keep one’s self directly opposite to any one, hold to him firmly, cleave to, paying heed to him.  This word is also used in Titus 1:9 in the qualifications for elders.  An elder is to hold firm to, antechomai, the trustworthy word.  In other words, we are to hold on tight to these weak people. We are to stick with them and support them.  The fact is we encounter many people in the church and other walks of life who require special and ongoing supportive care.  It has been amazing to me to see this demonstrate in CTR as many of our families have demonstrated true religion by helping widows and orphans (James 1:27).

Sometimes people are weak in their faith.  This could be a whole sermon in itself, but I will

only touch briefly.  Paul addresses this so called “weaker brother” situation in Romans 14 and 1 Corinthians 8-9, particularly regarding the area of food sacrificed to idols. Sometimes the loving Christian thing to do in helping the weak is to give up our rights for their sake. Paul summarizes in 1 Cor 9:22: “To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. “

So to summarize to this point we are to admonish theunruly, encourage thefainthearted,

and help theweak. 

In this verse, Paul gives one final instruction on dealing withunruly, fainthearted, and weak people:  We are to be patient with them all.  The Greek  word translated patient is makrothumeō (mak-roth-oo-meh'-o),  literally to belongspirited, that is, to bear  or suffer long, to have (long) patience or  patiently endure.—Strong)  Makrothumeō is used in 1 Corinthians 13:4,” love is patient,” and in 2 Peter 3:9, “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. “

The fact is we are often impatient with people.  I know I am. To the unruly, we might  become angry and write them off saying, “Fine! If that’s the way you’re going to be, good riddance.”   With the fainthearted, our tendency might be to grow weary and give up on them or to say to them, “Come on.  Buck up and carry your own weight.”  With the weak, we often just don’t care to invest the time and effort and we write them off to the government or social services, or we say, “I’m not going to let this weaker brother restrict the freedom I have in Christ.”But, the loving thing for us to do in interacting withunruly, fainthearted and weak peopleis to be patient and bear long with them just as God does with each of us unruly, fainthearted, and weak sinners.

So now that we’ve unpacked the verse, let’s look at some examples from Scripture to see

how to use these principles in dealing with people.  Who better to show us than the Lord Jesus. In Luke 5:17-26 there is the familiar story where Jesus is teaching and some men bring a friend who is paralyzed to him.  Because the crowd is so big they cannot get him, so they tear a hole in the roof and lower him to Jesus. 

20  And when he saw their faith, he said, "Man, your sins are forgiven you."  (He helps his spiritual weakness) 21  And the scribes and the Pharisees began to question, saying, "Who is this who speaks blasphemies? Who can forgive sins but God alone?" :22  When Jesus perceived their thoughts, he answered them, "Why do you question in your hearts? :23  Which is easier, to say, 'Your sins are forgiven you,' or to say, 'Rise and walk'? 24  But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins" (He patientlyadmonishs the unruly)--he said to the man who was paralyzed--"I say to you, rise, pick up your bed and go home." (He helps his physical weakness).

IN Mark 9:14-29, a man comes to Jesus’ disciples, presenting his son possessed by a spirit

causing him to be mute and suffer from siezures .  The disciples are unable to help him.  Jesus

arrives and the father says to him,

22… “But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us." 23  And Jesus said to him, "'If you can'! All things are possible for one who believes." (Jesus encourages his faint heart)24  Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!"  (Jesus responds by healing him.)

If we are honest, all of us have a predilection toward these three types of people and at times each of us have beenunruly, fainthearted, and weak.  Let’s look atsome examples of Peter exhibiting these behaviors and how the Lord Jesus responded to him.

Unruly–

            In Matthew 16 Peter had just confessed that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God.  Jesus then tells the disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer and be killed.  Peter rebukes him saying, "Far be it from you, Lord! This shall never happen to you."   Then Jesus admonishes him,  "Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man." (v 22-23)

Fainthearted –

In John 21, after denying Christ three times the night before his crucifixion, Jesus asks Peter three times if he loves him.  Peter responds, “Yes Lord you know that I love you.”  Jesus encourages him by instructing him to follow Him and feed His sheep. (v15-19)

Weak–

In Mathew 14 when Peter is walking on the water and begins to sink, he cries out, “Lord, save me.”  Jesus immediately reachedout his hand and took hold of him and helped him in his weakness.  (He also admonished him for his weak faith). (v 28-31)  In Luke 22 Jesus informs Peter that Satan demanded to sift him, but that He had prayed for him-- that his faith would not fail.

Another point to consider regarding this verse is to use the proper approach with the

different types of people.Each of us, because of different gifting, may be inclined to use the same approach with the different types of people.  But 1 Thess 5:14 is given to us “…to keep us from being blinded by our best gifts.  We are called to broaden our vision, to work out of our comfort zone.   A hammer thinks everything is a nail; a blanket, treats everyone as shivering, a wheelchair thinks everyone needs a lift.  But wisdom sees people for what they are and gives what is needed.”  (David Powlison, “Familial Counseling:  The Paradigm for Counselor-Counselee Relationships in1 Thessalonians 5,” Journal of Biblical Counseling, Winter 2007, PP2-16)

So remember we are toadmonish theunruly, encourage thefainthearted, and to help the

weak.  When little Johnny is out of line and not picking up his room as instructed, it does him no good to help him by picking up the room for him.  He should be admonished with “Johnny you know the Bible says children are to obey their parents in the Lord, for this is right.  You have not obeyed Daddy and have broken the 5^th commandment to honor your parents.  I’m going to have to discipline you and then we’ll pray that Jesus would help you obey and pick up your room.”

Picture coming home:  the house is a mess, the kids are screaming and fighting, and your

wife is crying in the bedroom and tells you she can’t take it anymore.   Don’t admonish her saying, “Honey your being ridiculous.  Stop crying.  You need to pull yourself together, get out there and pick up the house and make those kids behave.” This will only further discourage her and make her feel like a failure.   Instead, you need to take her in your arms, listen to her frustrations, and encourage her with Gal 6:9-10  “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.”

When a friend confides in you that they are struggling with a serious sin, don’t encourage them

with, “Oh that’s OK, people struggle with this issue.  All you need to do is think more about

Jesus.”  You need to help this person by praying for them, providing accountability withthem,

and showing them scriptures that address their sinful attitudes and behaviors.

There are times, as in the example of Peter and Jesus walking on the water, that we will

Needto use a combination of these approaches in a particular situation. A person might need help and adomishment. Or as in the example of the Jesus healing the paralyzed man, we may need to use different approaches when dealing with different peoples’ responses to a situation.  We may need to encourage one and admonish the other.

Most of all, remember with all people, be patient. How patient should we be? Well, again

we can look to Peter and the Lord for direction.  In Matthew 18, Peter thought he was being generous when he asked, “If my brother sins against me should I forgive him as many as seven times?”  And Jesus replied to him, “No not seven times, but seventy times seven.”  God is infinitely loving and patient with us, should we not be the same with others?

So there you have it.  Four practical instructions for dealing with messy people:

1) Admonish the unruly

2) Encourage the fainthearted

3) Help the weak

4) Be patient with them all

If we practice these commands, we will have stronger and healthier relationships with our spouse, families, coworkers and friends. If we as a church practice these commands, be at peace among ourselves as Paul commands in verse 13 of chapter 5.  By putting these commands into practice, we will grow in Christ likeness and people will be drawn to Christ because this way of treating people is so radically different than the way the world treats people. And that is our goal: to let our light shine before men so that they may see our good deeds and give glory to our Father who is in heaven (Mt 5:16)