A Biblical Basis for Kids in Church

By Nate Wilson, for Christ The Redeemer Church of Manhattan, KS 06 Jan 2008 and 21 Sept 2014.
Bible quotes from NASV.

I) Intro:

A) It has been my practice when I am in-between sermon series to deliver a sermon or two on the core values of Christ The Redeemer Church which we affectionately call “the four E’s.” It is good to review these from time to time - remember

1. Exalting our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

2. Equipping the saints with the Bible

3. Evangelizing the world with the Gospel, and

4. Encouraging godly households.

B) This week I want to underscore number four, Encouraging Godly Households.

C) Before I begin, let me pre-empt some potential objections.

1. Although I am not trying to call out anyone in particular, it may be tempting for some of you to feel uncomfortable if some of your practices are different from what I’m outlining.

2. On the other hand, you might be thinking, “I don’t have children, so this isn’t going to apply to me; I’m going to take a nap.”

D) Please bear with me, both of those lines of thinking would be the wrong place to steer into.

1. First, we need to know what the Bible says is the ideal before we can do anything about it, but be assured we all understand that we only step towards those ideals a little bit at a time, and we are not going to abolish nursery care.

2. Furthermore, it is going to take the support of all the people in the church – especially those who do not have little children – to enable the little children to grow in maturity and feel truly a part of the church.

II) The Bible teaches that when believers met for public worship, all ages were together

A) Exodus 10:9-11 Moses said [to Pharaoh], "We shall go with our young and our old; with our sons and our daughters, with our flocks and our herds we shall go, for we must hold a feast to the LORD."  Then he said to them, "Jehovah will really be with you if I let you and your little ones go? Look out, for evil is before your faces. No; y’all go now - the strong-men - and serve the LORD...

1. Pharoah told Moses, “worshipping God is not for Children; it’s just for the big, important men!” Question: Was Pharaoh a good guy or a bad guy?

2. Moses’ latter writings affirm his belief that God really did call for all ages in worship:

B) Deuteronomy 31:9-13 you shall read this law in front of all Israel in their hearing. Assemble the people, the men and the women and children and the alien who is in your town, so that they may hear and learn and fear the LORD your God, and be careful to observe all the words of this law…"

1. The law was to be read every seven years to both adults and children so that reverence for God and His word would transfer to the grandchildren.

C) 2 Chronicles 20:1-13  Now it came about after this that the sons of Moab and the sons of Ammon, together with some of the Meunites, came to make war against Jehoshaphat...  5 Then Jehoshaphat stood in the assembly of Judah and Jerusalem, in the house of the LORD …. [and prayed] 13 All Judah was standing before the LORD, with their infants, their wives and their children.

1. Here, we have an assembly in the temple that once again included children, not only children, but also little children – toddlers are specifically mentioned.

2. What are they doing? Fasting and listening to a long prayer. Folks this isn’t just for adults!

D) Joel 2:15-17 “…Consecrate a fast, proclaim a solemn assembly, Gather the people, sanctify the congregation, Assemble the elders, Gather the children and the nursing infants….”

1. God is calling even little babies who are still nursing to appear before Him.

2. Is this because He is mean and demanding toward little children? No, vs. 13-14 say it is because He is compassionate and merciful towards even the littlest children of His people!

3. For this reason, all ages are called to assemble before Him in repentance.

4. History tells us that the Jews of Joel’s day did not obey this call, however, so they were exiled to Babylon. 70 years later when they returned to Jerusalem under Ezra, they finally heeded the call:

E) Ezra 10:1-2 Now while Ezra was praying and making confession, weeping and prostrating himself before the house of God, a very large assembly, men, women and children, gathered to him from Israel; for the people wept bitterly. Shecaniah the son of Jehiel, one of the sons of Elam, said to Ezra, "We have been unfaithful to our God and have married foreign women from the peoples of the land; yet now there is hope for Israel...”

1. Ezra is praying and confessing sin in the temple for a long time – all afternoon long. Who is there?

2. Children! The Hebrew root word here is ילד, which has to do with “birth.” Newborns sat all afternoon with their parents as they confessed sin and mourned in silence!

3. Why did Shecaniah say that there is hope? Because they were obeying Joel 2:12 – “Return to me with all your heart with fasting and weeping… gather the people… even the nursing infants…” They were doing what God had called them to do, so there was hope!

4. I assure you that even if little junior couldn’t pray to confess his own sin out loud, he was impacted by seeing how sad Mom and Dad were for doing wrong.

Oh, but that was the Old Testament. Did New Testament believers worship and confess sin and read scripture and make supplication with their children like they did in the O.T.?

F) Matthew 14:15-21 here we have a company of 5,000 men, many of whom brought their wife and children along – the Greek word here is παιδιων indicating “young, little children, infants (Thayer)” – and they sat there all day without a meal break and listened to Jesus teach. They had to sit quietly because Jesus did not have a loudspeaker system to be heard outdoors by that many people.

1. Incidentally, Jesus did not tell His most kid-friendly disciples to go put on a separate seminar for the youth. Nowhere in the entire New Testament do any of the apostles put on a children’s program. Preaching was open to all ages.

2. Then one of those very children (John 6:9 - παιδαριον) provided the 5 loaves and 2 fish which Jesus used to feed that crowd.

3. Children, you have something to offer in public worship; don’t believe for a moment that this is just for big people.

(a) It thrills God’s heart to hear your voices singing and praying and confessing along with us!
And afterwards, God can use you children to do wonderful things, just as Jesus did with that child’s lunch feeding the 5,000!

G) Matthew 18:2-6  He [Jesus] called a child to Himself and set him before them and said, "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven… And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.”

1. How is it that a child was so close at hand to provide an object lesson to the followers of Jesus? There must have been children right there listening to Jesus’ teaching along with their parents.

2. Jesus even indicates that these “little ones” were actually believers!

H) 1 John 2:12-14 “I am writing to you, little children, because your sins have been forgiven you for His name's sake. I am writing to you, fathers, because you know Him who has been from the beginning. I am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one…”

1. When John wrote his first epistle, did he write a separate epistle for the children? No! He addressed young, adolescent, and mature men each in turn in the same paragraph!

2. This was then read aloud in church where every age group was present to hear!

3. So, children were present in the teaching times of the New Testament church! What about during temple worship?

I) Matthew 21:15-17 “…when the chief priests and the scribes saw the wonderful things that He had done, and the children who were shouting in the temple, "Hosanna to the Son of David," they became indignant and said to Him, "Do You hear what these children are saying?" And Jesus said to them, "Yes; have you never read, 'OUT OF THE MOUTH OF INFANTS AND NURSING BABIES YOU HAVE PREPARED PRAISE FOR YOURSELF'?" And He left them….

1. The temple leaders got upset about children (παιδας) shouting in the temple and especially about WHAT the children were shouting – praise to Jesus.

2. But Jesus defends the children’s actions by quoting Psalm 8:2. The Hebrew words in Psalm 8 are the same words we saw in Joel 2 indicating suckling/nursing, and the Greek text is consistent. In other words, Jesus says, “You think these children are too young? The Bible says that children even younger than that are supposed to praise God! Out of the mouths of sucklings God has ordained praise!”

3. Children, you are supposed to praise God in church; don’t fall down on your job!

4. v.17 reads as though Jesus left the temple in a huff because the leaders in the temple wouldn’t let the children participate in worship. If we run the children out of worship, we risk running the presence of God out of our worship.

J) Now, might it be possible that these were just special events and that people in the Bible normally used nurseries and youth programs?

III) What does the Bible say about Nurseries and Youth Programs

A) I did an electronic word search, but there is not a single instance of the word “nursery” nor is there a single mention of a priest/pastor for youth in the Bible. Not one!

B) Youth pastors and youth ministries and even Sunday schools are novelties that have only come about in the last hundred years or so.

C) As I look at the history and sociology of age segregation, it appears to me that this is a trend from pagan (Animistic, Islamic) cultures where women and children are considered inferior, or from revolutionary cultures where the younger generation is intentionally separated from their parents in order to brainwash the youth:

IV) So if not the nursery workers & youth pastor, who is supposed to teach kids??

A) The Bible does not teach that  children should be separated  from their parents.

B) Genesis 18:19 “I [God] have chosen him [Abraham], so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD...”

1. Did you hear that? God chose Abraham in order that Abraham would instruct his children!

2. If and when God gives you children, it is not so that someone else can instruct those children and set before them and example of righteousness and justice, He gives them to you as a parent so that YOU can do it!

C) Deuteronomy 6:6-7  These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up…”

1. The "you's" in Deut.5-6 are plural masculines. Moses was talking to the fathers in the community.

2. Moses delivered the law (chapter 5) to these men, and told them that it was their responsibility to teach their children God's ways.

D) The Apostles said the same thing to the NT church: Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

1. That means, fathers, it is our responsibility to discipline our children. We must accept the calling that comes with the children God has given us and take the lead in teaching our children. We are not free to shift the responsibility for teaching our children what is true from false and what is right from wrong onto any other teacher, be it in the school or in the church.

2. Certainly we can bring our children to others we know and trust for further instruction, but the buck stops at you, fathers, to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

V) Handling OBJECTIONS

A) But NOBODY does it this way!

1. We must not make our decisions by simply saying, “What is everybody else doing?” and then aping them.

2. Of course we don’t want to be unnecessarily offensive to our culture; we want to be winsome, but at the same time we must hold the line on Biblical standards. If we don't who will?

3. Sure, there are going to be people who don’t want to associate with us because we don’t have a modern nursery. But so what? “We ought to obey God rather than men!” (Acts 5:29)

4. If we are faithful to make disciples, God will take care of the growth of His church.

B) Shall we bash good youth ministries??

1. Please don’t beat other Christians over the head with this information!

2. Bless the other churches that conduct children's ministries. They are not the enemy; they are our brothers in the kingdom of God, and they deserve our support and prayer.

3. When the apostle Paul encountered other ministers whose motives he had serious doubts about, he didn’t bash them; he just said, “They’re preaching Christ, so I’ll rejoice in this” (Phil. 1:18).

C) But I can’t homeschool!

1. The Bible doesn’t say parents have to be their child’s only teacher, just that parents should be teaching and guiding their children.

2. In Matthew 19:13, some parents brought their children to Jesus. Notice that the children did not come of their own accord, they “were brought.”

3. Jesus didn’t say, “Hey, why bring your kids to me? Do I look like their Dad? Go teach them yourselves!”

4. No, Jesus affirmed what these parents were doing in bringing their children to hear a good teacher. It is a good thing to identify some good teachers who can teach your children what you can’t teach them!

D) But my kids aren’t ready to leave nursery!

1. That’s o.k. The Bible teaches us that we are all growing (Eph. 4:15) and we’re in different stages of maturity. For instance, the end of Hebrews chapter 5 says that babies should get milk, but grown-ups should get meat.

2. The goal is maturity, but that is a long-term goal. It is reached incrementally in steps. Maybe the next step is to wean or maybe just to learn to sit in a chair instead of being held. Maybe it is learning to read or learning to sing. Increments could be considered in terms of staying with the adults up until the sermon, then making it through half the sermon, or whatever.

3. What we need to do is assess where our children are at and what the next step of maturity needs to be for them and just work on taking that next step. Don’t compare yourselves with others.

E) But kids can’t be in every meeting!

1. This is true, and the Bible bears this out. There are appropriate times to meet in segments.

2. For instance, when someone is sick, does the Bible say to invite the whole church over to the sick person’s house? No. Just call the elders. (James 5:14).

3. Or what about when it’s time to build a church building? Old people and children would just get hurt. You want only strong men for some kinds of activities (Num. 31:42, Neh. 3:22).

4. What about women’s meetings; does the Bible support that? Well, what did they do when a woman had a baby? “Hey Emily’s having her baby tonight, everybody in the church is invited over to watch!” No, 1 Sam 4:20 and Ruth 4 inform us that just the women would gather for that. There’s also Lydia’s riverside prayer meeting in Acts 16:13 that was all-women (until Paul crashed it).

5. So God is perfectly reasonable. He is not saying we have to force integration all the time. But there are times to gather the whole church together and not leave out anybody, and that’s what we are trying to do at least on Sunday mornings.

VI) So, what does it look like to be age-integrated? Let me offer 4 principles:

A) Welcoming of children in worship

1. This was Jesus’ attitude. He liked the children shouting “Hosanna” to Him in the temple,

2. and He said, “Let the little children come, for of such is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19:14). The kingdom of heaven is composed of such children, so the church should be composed with them too!

3. Let us decide ahead-of-time that we are going to tolerate the extra noise and movement. If that’s hard for you, ask God to help you welcome and enjoy children in the church.

4. Little Jed and Jackson may not look like it, but when we’re dead, they’re going to be the ones in the pulpit teaching the next generation to worship God. Let’s welcome them now and give input into their lives now so that they can do that when we’re gone!

B) Helping other parents with their children

1. Galatians 6:2 tells us to “Bear one another's burdens.”

2. One of the things that impressed me about the African-American churches in Alabama where I grew up was that all the adults felt comfortable with shepherding all the children. They would scoop up a kid that was in the wrong place at the wrong time and give them a talking-to or even a corrective swat. It didn’t matter whose kid it was – and sometimes that kid was me!

3. In our church, when we dedicate or baptize our new babies, we take a pledge as a congregation to assist the parents in the Christian nurture of that child. Let’s look out for each other and help each other parent the children in the church. Look for opportunities to teach and shepherd!

4. One thing especially to look out for is moms who have been struggling with managing children all week and just want to sit down and worship God in peace come Sunday morning. They may greatly appreciate your help with childcare during the worship service. If you are available, then make an offer! You might find out that they don’t want help because they are working on a particular training project, but at least they know they are not alone.

C) Assuming Parental responsibility

1. There is a balance, of course, between helping a parent and usurping their responsibility, so be respectful of the decisions which parents make for their own children and do not undermine their parental authority.

2. Ephesians 6:4 says, “fathers… bring them up.” The buck stops at that child’s parents – especially with the father.

3. Parents, you may need to think through who you want to allow to help with child care and under what circumstances you will ask for help. Most church nurseries require background checks on staff and do not allow one-on-one time alone between a nursery worker and a child. There are reasons for that.

4. Remember, the goal is for the children to mature and worship God with the rest of us.

D) Using Nursery as Halfway house (not Jail)

1. One last point I would like to bring forward is kind of a word picture. When a person commits a violent crime, the county jail may be the first place they land. At that point in the process, the thing that is foremost on everybody’s mind is, “How do we get this criminal away from us?” The jail is a place to do that; keep them sequestered so they can’t do any further harm. Years later, however, after the criminal has served the prison sentence, there is a very different thought on everybody’s mind, “How do we get this institutionalized person integrated back into normal society?” Often we will put these criminals who have done their time in what’s called a “halfway house,” where staff help them work through all the ways they need to mature in order to be successful in free society. I believe we need to keep up some kind of child-care for the church, but we need to conceive of the nursery, not as a prison to keep kids away from us, but as a halfway-house which is purposefully getting the child ready to worship God with the whole congregation.

2. Hebrews 6:1 talks about “pressing on to maturity,” and the verse before it indicates that this maturity is developed “through practice” where the “senses [are] trained.”

3. What kind of practices can be implemented during nursery time where our childrens’ senses are trained toward maturity? What does a child need to get under his or her belt before they can enjoy worshipping in our congregation?

(a) They need to learn to sit still and listen. How do you train for that? By taking short periods to sit still in a chair and listen for as long as their attention span allows, then get up and move or talk. That’s something that can be done during nursery time or even at home during the week.

(b) To sharpen listening skills, you can listen just long enough to pick up a key word or concept from the sermon, then ask questions, explain it, draw a picture, or act it out!

(c) We are a literate congregation, so a halfway-house nursery will encourage the development of reading words and even reading music. What letter is that? What is its sound? What word does that spell? Do you see that word anywhere else on the bulletin? Is the next note in the music going up or going down? Let’s get our kids reading so they can read the word of God and sing hymns!

(d) Especially before a child becomes literate, memorization is important. In fact, we haven’t even been using printed versions of the Lord’s Prayer, so anyone who hasn’t memorized the Lord’s Prayer is going to feel like an outsider. Do you want your children feeling like outsiders? That is such an easy one to fix. Memorize that prayer a line at a time, “Repeat after me,” and when we get to it in the service the kid thinks, “Oh, I know that one. I can be a big person now!” Same with the hymn of the month or the Apostle’s Creed. A little memorizing, and our children suddenly become able to participate in worship with us!

(e) Hopefully these ideas can start us thinking and pulling together in this grand enterprise.

VII) TESTIMONY:

Many years ago, my wife and I got out of our church worship service and picked up our sons from children’s church, and our boys started telling us about this movie they had watched in children’s church. When it dawned on us that they had been watching Cinderella instead of having a Bible lesson, it was a wake-up call to us. We started seating our children with us wherever we went for church or Sunday school I started taking them on mission trips and to conferences when I was asked to speak. I even took my children with me to presbytery meetings to hear ministers get their oral theology exams. I exposed them to what real men are doing instead of what immature peers were doing. When they turn 13, I tell my children that they are men and women and that I expect them to start stepping into roles of godly manhood and womanhood.

So the first time we as a church had a commissioning prayer time for a soldier who was deploying, I called for all the men in the church who wanted to pray to come forward, my 14 and 16-year old sons stepped up! My first thought was, “Wait you’re not the men in the church,” and then I realized, “Yes they are! I told them they were ready to start acting like men, and 1 Timothy 2:8 says that men pray in church, so here they were to do what they’re supposed to do!” Wow, that was an exciting moment!

My children aren’t perfect, and I don’t expect yours to be either. Boys have to blow off steam, and we try to organize our meetings in such a way that they can after the meeting. Children need to exercise their imagination and play. Immature children cannot be expected to perform to the level of a mature adult, so we cut them slack, but all the while our eyes are on the goal of godly manhood and womanhood.

There are other social and historical reasons, but this is the Biblical basis for why we practice age-integrated worship. So let us press on by taking every opportunity in life to instruct the children God has given us and live before them a godly example. Let us press on with the expectation that God will bless this kind of obedience to Him and will raise up another generation who fear him and who will bring the gospel to the world, who will equip the saints, and who will glorify our Lord Jesus Christ!