Mat. 19:10-12 “Married or Single, Make Room for Jesus’
Word”
Translation & Sermon by Nate
Wilson for Christ The Redeemer Church, Manhattan, KS, 17 Feb. 2013
Translation
19:10 His disciples say to Him,
“Since the matter is thus concerning the man with his wife, it doesn’t bear
together to get married!”
19:11 Then He said to them,
“It’s not all men but rather the ones to whom is has been given who make space
for this word,
19:12 for there are eunuchs, some of which were born thus from
their mother’s womb,
and there are eunuchs, some of which became eunuchs by the agency of men
and there are eunuchs, some of which made eunuchs of themselves for the kingdom
of the heavens. The one who has the ability to make space for [this], let him
continue to make space for [it].”
Introduction
I was not expecting to
have enough material on being a eunuch to preach a whole sermon on the topic,
but that’s how it’s turned out. This sermon is on just three verses, Matthew
19:10-12.
Context: Jesus has
just been upholding God’s ideal of marriage, telling the Pharisees that they
shouldn’t be looking for excuses to divorce and shouldn’t be separating couples
that God put together in marriage. Jesus just finished that discourse by
stating in v.9: …I’m telling y’all that who ever shall divorce
his wife – not on the grounds of sexual immorality – and shall marry another
commits adultery, and the man who married a woman who has been divorced is
committing adultery.”
Exegesis
19:10
His disciples say to Him, “Since the matter is thus concerning the man with his
wife, it doesn’t bear together to get married!”
Λεγουσιν
αυτω-p25,א ‘οι
μαθηται αυτου-א,Β,Θ Ει ‘ουτως
εστιν ‘η αιτια
του ανθρωπου
μετα της
γυναικος ου
συμφερει
γαμησαι.
- The grammar of this
sentence in Greek (ei +
present indicative = 1st class conditional) indicates that the
disciples felt it really must be better not to get married, so the
“if” in the sentence could be translated, “Since the matter is like
this…”
- This word aitia = caseKJV,ESV/relationshipNAS/situationNIV
is the same Greek word used in v.3 by the Pharisees when they asked, “Can
a man divorce his wife for any aitia/
any causeKJV,ESV/ reasonNAS,NIV?” Well…
- if there really isn’t any good reason for
divorce in God’s design for marriage,
- and if everyone who has gotten a divorce
to marry someone else has committed the sin of adultery (which the
O.T. law said deserved the death sentence) – the only exception being if
your spouse was committing adultery,
- and if nobody thought it was possible to make
a marriage work long-term,
- then
it’s easy to see why the disciples were feeling less inclined to
get married.
- The permanency
of marriage and the covenantal responsibilities of marriage should
indeed make anyone think twice before getting married.
- “Can I really stick
with this person for the rest of my life?”
- “Can I really be faithful to this one person for the rest of my
life and not covet another?”
- Marriage vows are a
serious matter. In Ecclesiastes 5, God says it’s better not to vow than
to make a vow and not make good on it, because He will hold you
accountable to the promises you make, and He is not going to accept
excuses like, “It was a mistake.” So “Don’t be hasty in word or
impulsive” when it comes to marriage, “Why should God be angry on account
of your voice and destroy the work of your hands?” (NASB)
- The Greek word that the disciples used for
“good/better” in the phrase “it is not good to marry” (or “better
not to marry” in the more recent English versions) literally means to
“carry together” [sum-pherw].
- A.T. Robertson , one of the greatest New
Testament Greek scholars of modern times (in my opinion), translated this
word “it is not expedient,” and I think that captures the
disciple’s attitude well. Too often people approach marriage thinking
selfishly, “What can I get out of marriage for myself?”
when their question should have been, “How can I use this marvelous
institution for the benefit of my spouse-to-be, myself, my
children-to-be, my fellow men, and God’s kingdom?”
- I remember when my best friend in college got married.
I was sitting with him in his bedroom the night before the wedding in Hershey, PA, and I asked him why he was getting married before he had finished college.
I’ll never forget his answer. He said, “Because I believe I can fulfill
God’s will for my life better if I’m married than if I were single.”
That really changed the way I looked at marriage!
- Anyway, Jesus used this word “sumpherw/ better/ expedient” back in
chapter 5 when He was teaching on adultery and divorce: 5:28. …everyone
who looks at a woman for the purpose of lusting after her already has
committed adultery with her in his heart. 29. So, if your right eye
scandalizes you, snatch it and throw it away from you, for it bears
together [is better] for you that [only] one of your members might be
destroyed and not the whole of your body be thrown into hell. 30. And if
your right hand scandalizes you, cut it off and throw it away from you,
for it bears together [is better] for you that [only] one of your
members might be destroyed and not the whole of your body depart into
hell.” (NAW)
The very next verse in chapter 5 is
where Jesus starts saying that divorce causes adultery.
- I suspect
that the disciples are hearing this second statement against divorce now
in chapter 19 and remembering what Jesus said about cutting off your hand
or gauging out your eye in order to keep from sinning, and they’re
thinking, “Man alive, if adultery is that easy to commit and if it adultery
is such a terrible thing, maybe we shouldn’t even get married – too bad
old Peter’s already gotten himself hitched!”
- Well, they’re partly
right, but they’re also partly wrong on that count, so Jesus
answers in a way that both affirms marriage and affirms celibacy:
- According to the
parallel account in Mark 10:12, Jesus says the following privately
to His disciples inside a house:
19:11
Then He said to them, “It’s not all men but rather the ones to whom is has been
given who make space for this word,
‘Ο δε
ειπεν αυτοις Ου
παντες
χωρουσιν τον
λογον τουτον-B,f1 αλλ’ οις
δεδοται
- The grammar of this
sentence sets “all [men]” in contrast to “those to whom it [the word] was
given.”
- There is some debate
as to what Jesus meant by “this statement/word/saying:”
- Does He mean that
not all can accept the statement the disciples made that it is better
not to marry? (as per Chrysostom,
Calvin, JFB, Henry, ATR)
- Or does He mean
that not all men can accept the statement that Jesus had just made
that divorcing one spouse to marry another is adultery? (Hendriksen)
- Roman
Catholic doctrine affirms the former, believing that celibacy and monas-ticism
are better than getting married and raising children. I can only
say, it’s better for some people, but Jesus did not say it was necessarily
better than marriage.
- I believe that Jesus
is actually speaking to both statements:
- In once sense, He
is referring back to His previous statement and saying that He did not
expect everybody in the crowd to believe and act upon His teaching about
marriage, yet He at least gave it to His disciples, and He expects
His disciples to believe and act in accordance with it. They should stop separating
couples that God has joined together in marriage (v.6), and they should
stop committing adultery of whatever kind (v.9).
- “[U]ngodly
ingratitude …rejects this wonderful gift of God out of fear of one
inconvenience or out of boredom… But if God instituted marriage for the
common welfare of the human race, it is not to be rejected because it
carries with it some things which are less agreeable Therefore we learn
that, if there is anything in God’s benefits that does not please us, we
are not to be so discriminative and critical that we do not use them
reverently… Satan is always trying to make [marriage] seem hateful and
disgraceful, so that he can put men off it…. [Have you noticed how consistently marriage is portrayed as
“hateful and disgraceful” on TV and movies?] But we must see
how the Lord refutes this foolishness… [those who are not eunuchs who
yet] shrink from marriage are fighting against God…” ~John Calvin
- “It is a foolish,
peevish thing for men to abandon the comforts of this life because of
the crosses that are commonly woven in with them… If the yoke of
marriage may not be thrown off at pleasure, it does not follow
that therefore we must not come under it; but therefore, when we do
come under it, we must resolve to comport with it by love and meekness
and patience – which will make divorce the most unnecessary undesirable
thing that can be!” ~Matthew Henry.
- In believing and
obeying these legal dictums from Jesus, His followers will thus receiveKJV,ESV/
acceptNKJ,NAS,NIV/ or literally “make space for” His word. It’s
the same Greek word translated “separate” in v.6, but instead of
creating space between married couples by letting lust and
resentment and other sins dwell in our hearts, we should create space for
God’s word to dwell in our hearts and thus cinch up the unity of our
marriages.
- On the other hand,
Jesus is also speaking to the disciple’s comment that maybe it’s better
not to get married at all. His response is that celibacy is a gift from
God, but it is not given to all men, only to some. The ones to whom this
gift of celibacy is given should make room in their hearts for this gift
and let it grow and flourish as a spiritual gift that bears fruit for
God’s kingdom.
19:12
for there are eunuchs, some of which were born thus from their mother’s womb,
and there are eunuchs, some of which became eunuchs by the agency of men
and there are eunuchs, some of which made
eunuchs of themselves for the kingdom of the heavens. The one who has
the ability to make space for [this], let him continue to make space for [it].”
εισιν
γαρ ευνουχοι ‘οιτινες
εκ κοιλιας
μητρος
εγεννηθησαν ‘ουτως
και εισιν
ευνουχοι ‘οιτινες
ευνουχισθησαν
‘υπο των
ανθρωπων
και εισιν
ευνουχοι ‘οιτινες
ευνουχισαν ‘εαυτους
δια την
βασιλειαν των
ουρανων.
‘Ο δυναμενος
χωρειν χωρειτω.
- This verse starts
with the word “for.” What does the fact that there are three kinds of
eunuchs prove? It proves that God has given a calling to some people to be
eunuchs, and that they have accepted it as their calling.
- The word “eunuch” is
a transliteration of the Greek word “eunouche,”
which occurs several places in the Greek Bible:
- We first read of
eunuchs in Genesis as Egyptian men like Potiphar (the captain of the
guard - Gen 39:1),
and Pharoah’s cupbearer and chief baker (Genesis 40), who served in Pharoah’s
court.
- Then, we see that
the later kings of Israel had eunuchs in their service to run
errands (1Ki 22:9), conduct official business (2Ki 8:6 – law enforcement, 2Ki 23:11 – accounting,
2Ki 25:19 – military commander), and to attend to queens (2 Ki 9:32 – Jezebel, 2Ki
24:15 – Joachim’s wives).
- These men were
trusted to take care of the queen because being a eunuch meant that their
male parts had been cut off with a knife, and they could not get her
pregnant. The prophet Samuel warned against having a king, and one of his
reasons was that kings would do the whole eunuch thing (1 Sam 8:15) –
this was a punishment from God.
- Then the prophet Isaiah warned the idol-worshipping people of Israel to obey God or else be punished by being made eunuchs in the house of the king of Babylon (2Ki 20:18).
- They didn’t listen,
so off they went to exile. The book of Esther, which is about the time of
the Jews in exile in Babylon, mentions eunuchs more often than any other
book of the Bible – the Persian kings had a lot of eunuchs (Est 1:10-15;
2:3, 2:14-23; 4:4-5; 6:2&14; and 7:9). It’s possible that Daniel, Shadrach, Mechach and Abed-nego were made
eunuchs, I don’t know.
- Perhaps it was
because so many Jews were made eunuchs in Babylon that Isaiah delivered a
special prophecy to those eunuchs who kept true to God’s covenant,
promising that they would be blessed with eternal life (Isa. 56:3-4).
- The only other
mention of eunuchs in the New Testament is in Acts 8:27-39, when Phillip
baptized the Ethiopian eunuch. History beyond the Bible indicates that
this eunuch, who was an official for Queen Candace, successfully
converted much of his homeland to Christianity. Eunuchs have done great things for God.
- So Jesus says that
there are three kinds of eunuchs which prove that God has given a call to
celibacy to some men.
- First, there are men born deformed who cannot
marry and have children because of their deformity. It may also apply to
some women. This is due to the sovereignty of God in an individual’s
life, and if it is not something that can be surgically fixed, then this
constitutes a de facto calling
from God on a person’s life to live as a eunuch. In this case, they need
to embrace this calling by faith in God, with singlehearted devotion to
God and His purposes on this earth, rather than hating God for allowing them
to be born a eunuch.
- A subset of
these eunuchs from birth could include married couples who find out
after they get married that they are not able to have children. If it
cannot be fixed medically, even this can be embraced as a calling from
God to do special things for the kingdom of heaven. For instance, Bill
and Amy Stearns were acquaintances back when I worked for Caleb Project.
They were not able to have children, but they filled their lives with
service to God’s kingdom, travelling and speaking all over the world. One
night Bill called me, “Nate, we need to figure out who could answer the
phones if we had 100,000 students call an 800 number looking for
Christian mentors; I think I know how to reach that many students; can
you connect me to that many mentors?” Bill dreamed big like that; he
served God wholeheartedly and “died with his boots on” a couple of years
ago.
- The second kind of eunuch are men like the
eunuchs mentioned in the Old Testament. They have been captured as slaves
and humiliated by castration and must endure the rest of their lives as
servants who can never marry. (It’s still practiced by some Muslims today
against Christian populations in their countries.) Whether this happens in
God’s providence as a consequence of one’s own sin, or whether this
occurs as a result of the sinful hearts of other men, if a man (or woman)
finds themself in this position, God’s call is to forgive the evil that
has been done to them and embrace the role of a eunuch and devote their
life to serving others for the glory of God.
- The third class of eunuchs are those who voluntarily
take on the life of a eunuch, choosing not to marry in order to devote their
time fully to serving others.
- The Greek verb
here describing this third class of eunuchs literally means
“became eunuchs,” but the NIV translates it “renounced marriage” to
emphasize the figurative meaning which I believe Jesus intended.
- A preacher
named Chrysostom (who lived in Constantinople about 250 years after
Christ) elaborates, “When He says that they made themselves eunuchs, He
means, not the excision of the members – far from it!, but the putting
away of wicked thoughts. Since the man who has mutilated himself …
is venturing on the deeds of murderers… [(and I agree with Chrysostom that it would be wrong to ever
destroy your capacity to have children) that would be] a work
of demonic agency and satanic device… marring the freedom given to us by
God and persuading us that evil deeds are of nature… [However,] the
force of lust does not become milder thereby, but even more fierce,
for the seed [of immorality] has another origin… its waves swell from
another cause… from nothing else than from an ungoverned will and
a neglected mind. If [the will and mind] be temperate, there is
no evil result from the motions of nature.”
- This third group
of men haven’t chopped any parts off their bodies literally, what they
have done is sensed a spiritual call to celibacy, realized that
God has given them the ability to live without marriage, and they
embrace this, devoting themselves to King Jesus as a single.
- I believe this
issue is what Paul referred to in 1 Cor. 7:32-34, when he said, “I want
you to be free from cares. The unmarried man cares about the things of
the Lord – how he may please the Lord, but the married man cares about
the things of the world – how he may please his wife, and his
[attention] is divided. Both the unmarried woman and the virgin cares
for the things of the Lord in order that she might be holy in the body
and in the spirit, but the married woman cares about the things of the
world – how she may please her husband.” “[E]ach has his own gift from
God, [celibacy] on the one hand and [marriage] on the other.” (v.7)
- This third class of
voluntary eunuchs do this dia ten
basilein “for the sake of/because ofNIV/ in the
interest ofHendriksen the kingdom.” This phrase does not occur
anywhere else in the Bible. I believe it can be taken two ways:
- First, it speaks of those who forego
marriage in order that God might more effectively be king over their
life. The next story here in Matthew 19 is about the rich
young ruler. In Luke’s version of that story, Jesus uses a synonymous
expression heneken ten basilein
speaking about what it takes to go to heaven. It’s very similar to the
pattern of Jesus’ dialogue on divorce: Jesus gives a hard saying (that
riches will keep you out of heaven), the disciples throw up their hands
in exasperation saying it’s too hard to get saved, then Jesus says that
God can make it possible, and then comments about making a worthwhile
sacrifice: Luke 18:29-30 And He said to them, "Truly I say to you,
there is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or
children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who will not receive
many times as much at this time and in the age to come, eternal
life." (NASB).
- The
picture that comes to my mind is that of a monkey trap, where Africans
will put some roasted peanuts in the bottom of a heavy jar to trap
monkeys. Monkeys will smell the peanuts and come and stick their paws
down into the jar and grab the peanuts, but the neck of the jar is not
wide enough for a monkey to be able to pull a fist full of peanuts out
of the jar. The trap works because once a monkey has the peanuts in his
paw, he’s never going to let go, so he effectively traps himself by his
own lust for peanuts. If the monkey were to let go of the peanuts, he
might say he saved himself, but really all he did was let go of something
that endangered his life.
- It’s
not a perfect analogy, but I think that’s the sense of this concept of being
a eunuch and foregoing marriage (letting go of the peanuts)
if you find that your hopes for marriage are an idol that is distracting
you from devotion to Christ. There is a place for saying, “Whoah, I need
to let go of this idea and focus on my relationship with Christ and
embrace His kingship over every area of my life.” And this doesn’t have
to be permanent commitment; it can be for a time to get right with God.
- The Second way this
phrase “because of/for the sake of” the kingdom can be taken is that this
self-denial is embraced in order to advance the kingship of Christ
through missionary work.
- For
example, in the 1940’s, a young man by the name of Jim Elliott graduated
from Wheaton College in Illinois and eventually sailed to Ecuador to
bring the gospel deep into the Amazon jungle to tribes that had never
had a chance to hear the gospel. He really liked a girl by the name of
Elizabeth Howard, and they really seemed like they would make good
marriage partners, but Jim decided not to marry Elizabeth because he was
afraid she and any children they might have would never be able to
survive in the Amazon jungle where he believed his calling lay. He
underwent unimaginable difficulties in the jungle the first year he went
down there – including almost dying of malaria. He made himself a eunuch
for the sake of Quechua Indians hearing the Gospel. Later on, when Jim
had developed a better base of operations, he decided that married
couples could thrive there, so he finally married Elizabeth. That story
is told in Elizabeth Elliot’s book, Passion
and Purity – it’s a beautiful story, worth reading.
- But
other missionaries have misjudged the situation: Hudson Taylor, the
modern pioneer of missions to China, and William Carey before him, the
modern pioneer of missions to India, both lost their wives and several
children in the process of trying to advance the kingdom.
- Nowadays, I think
of the challenges of mission work among Muslims – I have had friends go
to Islamic countries as singles and as married couples, and there are
pro’s and con’s to doing it either way, but Jesus says there is
definitely a place for going single for the sake of the kingdom.
Conclusion
So we’ve seen Jesus make
a statement about giving up the option of divorce and a statement about giving
up the option of marriage for the sake of His kingdom. Two equally challenging
courses. The question is, do you accept – and will you continue to make room
for – one or the other? Will you refuse to divorce or will you refuse to get
married for the sake of the kingdom?
Jesus
concludes v.12 saying, “the one who has the power to receive/accept literally
“make space for” this, let him do so.” This idea of making space for something
reminds me of a situation I found myself in yesterday: My wife and I went out
on a double-date with our friends Rob and Susannah at the new Texas Roadhouse.
The restaurant was packed, and the hostess waded through a sea of lunch customers
to the far end of the restaurant to show us to our booth. As we approached the
booth, we realized we had a challenge on our hands: There were six of us
(including two babies), but the booth was clearly made to hold only four
people. My wife and I were having trouble figuring out how to make enough room
on our side of the table to fit the two of us plus our winter jackets and her
purse. Rob had a bigger problem because he had two children that he had to
figure out how to cram in there in addition to himself and his wife. Well,
being the take-charge kind of guy that he is, Rob grabbed the infant carseat
with a look of determination on his face and wedged the gigantic piece of
plastic with the baby in it between the wall and the table. It was a really
tight fit. Now, with the carseat taking up half his side of the table, there
was now only room left for Susannah. Undaunted, Rob sat past the edge of the
seat and leaned over the corner of the table to be part of the conversation,
and then pulled up a high chair for the toddler, and so all six of us managed
to wedge in. We had a delicious lunch, but we had to make room for ourselves
first!
Can you make room for these teachings
that Jesus handed to us in His word?
- Receiving, or making room involves not only believing
that it’s true, but making it a part of your life, “carrying it into
practice”
cultivating the kind of love it will take to make the thought of divorce
ridiculous – or cultivating the kind of devotion to Christ that would make
marriage feel like a waste of time.
- Making room for
something often means moving the old furniture out to make enough room. Is
there old furniture in your life that needs to be moved out to make room
for Jesus’ call, whether you are married or single?
- Do you need to get rid of your access to
pornography
- or loose your flirtatious ways,
- or release a grudge you’ve been nursing?
- Move that old furniture out so that you will
have room for the blessings God has for you through accepting His word!